I am honest in that I think generally Fetlife is a good site, but it has its limitations and has got less and less enjoyable over the fourteen or so years I have been a member. The world of... See more
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FetLife is the Most Popular Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community.
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Very unwelcoming, openly hostile, tons of Incels
Very unwelcoming, a lot of messages from others that ran contrary to what was stated in my profile, a lot of spam, and a lot of hateful content. Stay away from this site. In fact, the mere fact that they aren't allowed to accept PayPal or Credit Cards is a huge red flag. They did something so egregious that they've been banned from accepting major credit cards and now only accept bank transfers, cash, or gift cards for places like TJ Maxx (which will likely also get them banned).
Mistreatment by FETLIFE
I just received a one day suspension of service for "threatening to out another member.' I did not. I did ask for the person's name and DOB and address. I did not threaten to out the person. I never did. I would never. I would check for wants and warrants, but I will not "out" anyone, ever. This is perjorative.
Used to be a fantastic site. AVOID. (Unless you want hookers.)
Used to be a fantastic site.
Now? It's ass-deep in Onlyfans spammers, scammers, wide-open prostitution and escorting, cash begging, "financial doms", etc. Absolute scum pit.
Honestly? Where five years ago 90% of the female profiles were ACTUAL GIRLS LOOKING TO MEET PEOPLE, now about 80% are girls looking to SELL SOMETHING.
They spam. They get nasty. And, they're sneaky and deceptive, starting out acting like they're just looking for fun, but guess what? When you contact them, they bait-and-switch and ask for money.
"Sorry, I'm so busy, you'll have to send some cash to my VENMO for me to have time for you."
"Honey, I need to make rent, can you give me a donation?"
"I want to have sex with EVERYBODY---Oh, guess what, join my Onlyfans, then sure, you'll be next in line, sucker."
Owner (John Baku) does not care. Guess he's down to sell prostitutes. Maybe they're paying him something for the advertising space. Same for Onlyfans. Seriously HORRIBLE.
Better for you to find the nearest crack den in the closest city and try to rent a toothless hooker for 20 minutes. Save you time and money.
AVOID!
Don't believe me about the prostitutes?
Here's one offering IN-CALL. Feel free to pass this on to authorities.
Fet Profile ID:16786570
Libellous Act
Fetlife allows people to make a libellous post against you. Doesn’t respect your privacy. Allows defamation without evidence.
Stay away from this site. If I could give them 0 rating, I would.
They allow people to moderate groups who have no experience.
Fetlife - Needs a lot of work on attitudes!
Ah, Fetlife…. Where to begin…. A meeting site for the quirky, the needy and the downright perverted…
I’ve been on Fetlife for a number of years dipping in and out.
It seems like a good idea but unfortunately it is flawed.
Riddled with a wide spectrum of deviants (some more questionable than others… like the guy looking for someone to deficate in his mouth) all out to satisfy their depraved Kinks.
Amongst the ‘everyday’ kink folk you’ll find attractive young women who will immediately tell you in their description that they’re not looking for anyone (male) but place a link for their only fans page immediately underneath (surely, that’s a form of prostitution?)
Then there’s the attractive young woman (who again) says she’s not looking for anyone (male) but is looking for a woman to help satisfy her boyfriend’s need for a threesome (why the f are you here? That’s not a kink - it’s sex).
You’ll also find forum articles where people post absolute nonsense in a bid to look intelligent… analysing what it is to be a Sub or a Dom….. f’ing seriously?? There are just as many people up their own arses as much as each others on this site!
You’ll also find the young newbie females who want to get into kink and post an introduction to themselves on the forums….and this is where the problem starts.
Mods (let’s call them ‘gatekeepers’) immediately post a long diatribe about how the website is riddled with predatory men, that the woman in question should ignore and block ALL mail coming into her inbox and delete it. The way this is done insinuates ALL men on the site are harmful predators. This is not true at all, and these egotistical ‘fonts of all knowledge’ should back off and stop using such tactics. They say that these newbies should attend ‘munches’…. Again, not strictly true - not taking into account locality to such events, social anxiety or other factors that the new sub may have to face that could prove problematic to them. There are many young women who practically throw themselves out there with profiles that pretty much state that they want to be seriously raped…. Naivety and inexperience are to blame for this, and they red flag themselves to predatory men…. BUT, it DOESN’T mean that EVERY guy that contacts them will be a danger. Ascertaining someone’s suitability starts with a conversation, and common sense will tell most how to proceed from that point.
From my own experience I was contacted by a shy young female sub over several years ago on Fetlife, her only experience was a bad one - A ‘Master’ who was introduced to her by a fellow kinkster - this guy beat her badly and stubbed cigarettes out on her body - this wasn’t what she requested and is not acceptable.
(I would ask for 5 minutes alone with this person in a room with a metal bar; I guarantee that after that time they’ll only be able to identify him by his DNA).
The young lady in question was vulnerable and had a few conditions like autism & adhd (which made her a bit of a challenge) but with careful and considerate handling her needs were addressed and met. During the time I have known and played with her she has become a very confident woman.
Beyond the fetish play, I also advised and supported her when her father died and when other curveballs were thrown at her in life.
So Fetlife, I do hope that you’re reading this review…NOT EVERY GUY on your website is a predatory piece of excrement! Please advise your mods not to use that controlling and biased paint-everyone-the-same approach - it is INACCURATE, INAPPROPRIATE AND DOWNRIGHT DISRESPECTFUL!
I have found Mod behaviour to be more predatory in all honesty.
If you want Fetlife to be an exclusive playground for the righteous then that’s a pretty one sided and self centred cesspit that you have there; but if you want it to be a good place for kinksters to meet, change your mods attitude (they are NOT the POLICE!) weed out the predators, kick anyone with an only-fans link…. The list goes on…. You have a LOT of work to do!
The site is run horribly - Staff just as bad
The site is run horribly, without any support at all. If you make a post you will receive numerous replies from creeps asking for nudes or webcam shows. If you do not do as they ask, they will report your account, and then fetlife staff will make the same demands, asking you to upload custom made photos claiming they are safe. I was banned for the reason "someone reported your photos are not yours" when I did not even have a photo posted to my account. At the same time, they have "verified" accounts of people claiming to be women, but their entire profile is an advertisement for a gangbang website, and all of their photos are famous porn stars.
I've been on fetlife for one week and…
I've been on fetlife for one week and it is just full of fake profiles.
I've been seeking a mistress on there & spoke to dozens of mistresses and they all want to change sites straight away and when I do they just want money/tributes sent to them online with no intentions of meeting you.
I've even gone as far as looking them up afterwards on there Twitter accounts or websites and found out that there not even on fetlife or the information they have given on fetlife is totally wrong.
So any future customers please be warned or very careful.
I've contacted Google play telling them fetlife is a scam app as it was Google play where I purchased fetlife and they blankly REFUSED
So if you want to buy an app from Google play think twice and make sure that it is a true app as you won't get your money back.

Reply from FetLife
Chat with fetlifer
I was chatting with another fetlifer,and had a great time,swopped some pics and some dirty talk i enjoyed it tremendously,then he blocked me.i thought we were getting along great,
Not for me permanently I won't be missed
What turned to be a good begin ended to become a really bad. Using Fet Life for a couple years but over time I saw that I made no interest at all to anyone at all; over time felt like I do not qualify at all. Going back again for the first time in forever I notice that it got harder and harder with a lot of things. And really hoping to find what I was looking for. Personally this is what I have experience for any of you that might go on might or might not for you. If anyone know a site that is similar please let me know. My first year loved Fet Life so much after it was complete mayhem for me. Happy hunting for those on there search for whatever you are looking for and achieve it. It's not for everybody and it is for some.
The truth about Fetlife.
This site is a joke! Nothing more then a porno show and tell. It’s has the same double standard as always. Men rule and women beware! The men are mean and seem to think they can just talk to women any old way. It’s a place where people can make money by becoming a peep show for the pervs. Fans only! It cost money so it’s all designed to make money for the Canadian guy who created this cheap site. It’s so far removed from what bdsm truly is. So it’s just a bunch of role players and I find it sad that women think they have to follow orders by self proclaimed Doms and so called Masters. They will show up in your message box barking out orders like they rule the planet. It’s stupid at best and anyone with just half a brain would know this. These are people who have become addicted to the internet and they think they are actually connecting to others yet they still sit alone playing with themselves all alone! Just a site filled with trolls both women and men. The women make me mad for allowing themselves to be so used and not showing any self love at all. I don’t understand why a married woman would allow her husband to film her having sex with other men in front of him, saying my husband loves to watch me get screwed! She is really beautiful and has began destroying her body with cheap tattoos all over her. She had branded herself for life for what? To impress a bunch of nobodies who would screw her and walk away without even so much as a goodbye and thank you. I’m not a religious person as a matter of fact I’m an Atheist yet I don’t need a Bible to tell me how to respect myself and hold myself up high. Why because, I have a good healthy self love and I don’t need a bunch of strangers to approve of me! This site should be shut down! It’s a dangerous site in the fact that it promotes a disturbed view of what bdsm isn’t!
Why exactly would I verify my account…
Why exactly would I verify my account after only being in it for 3 days? On other websites such as for example alt.com where I am in since months or years sure and already done so but after only 3 days you can forget it as I am not even sure if I want to stay or not. Can´t recommend, my husband and I will not return.
This app sucks all they do is read what…
This app sucks all they do is read what you are looking for and than message and say there down and you give them a time to come to you and than they don't respond or they just straight stand you up there are some guy who will be honest and say that the day or time doesn't work for them. But most of them just waste your time and wanna sext and see pictures they also only want your snapchat or Kik just to text and not show up at all. when that's not what you wanted it and you specified that in your about me. It's literally full of time wasters props to all those woman who find guys on here that actually show up and not waste your time because that hasn't been my experience at all
Site refused to take down dead friends…
Site refused to take down dead friends profile she literally died after a brain operation . It’s mostly abandoned profiles and onlyfans accounts full of a very toxic community. The search feature sucks you literally have to look through a sea of people who aren’t your preference
Fetlife is another product of the…
Fetlife is another product of the biased and for profit tech industry. Despite the nature of fetish, bdsm, and kink about being about exploration, challenge, risk, expression and most of all acceptance, their is a growing activist element of the people and staff on the website that are all about progressive ideologies, compliance of tight knit rules by a very aggressive chaotic minority. Think BLM and Antifa....but on fetlife.
This site a good way to get started in…
this site a good way to get started in BDSM or find a BDSM club %100 free and real people who are interested in what you are thanks fetlife!!! OKC!!
Definitely the worst app
Definitely the worst app I've tried to use! Lots of "people" who message when they are 500+km away, unless you pay than your messages are restricted to less that 1 per day (sent a single message 48 hrs ago and still can't reply to the person or send any other messages). Don't wast your time and certainly don't waste your money.
Fetlife is pretty good, the hate is undeserved
Ok, there is a lot of hate in this section, I have been a continuous member of Fetlife for almost 13 years (I joined in the first few months) I am a middle aged, white, straight male and have never had any problems with discrimination on that basis or any other, I run numerous groups and irl a couple of munches, I know hundreds of members of my local kink community and Fetlife is a great way to share events, munches, thoughts and feelings. Is it full of scammers...there is a lot, do people sell content or services...yes they do but remember sex work is still work so what's the problem? The biggest issue is the recent influx of misogynistic incels that keep trolling posts, causing drama, leaving and then starting again with a new account!
Is it safe? no
Is it good value for money? Pornhub is a better source of videos
Is it a useful social network for Kinksters for friendship, play, sex and relationships? Yes
So I don't really get all the negative reviews here, as a community member for more than 20 years I can't think of a more useful tool than this and I should know, I'm on Fet book, stragelynormal, vivo, I was on collared, bondage.com...sites come and go but this one is pretty good if used like kinky Facebook.
terrible experience got stood up by a…
terrible experience got stood up by a guy. Guys were responding just to waste time they knew what i wanted and they just spent time messaging just to message to have online sexual talks
Terrible sausage fest
Terrible sausage fest. Mainly sellers, timewasters, people that grill you, but can't hold a conversation or reply in 1-2 words. Nobody is interested in doing anything offline regardless of all govt restrictions being lifted and most (90%+) of the population being vaccinated where I live. Shoutout to the few genuine people on here, but you guys are like unicorns. Group mods get way too much power and have made it a terrible experience recently. Some kinkshaming going on as well which is truly disgraceful. Ended up just feeling worse about myself whenever I logged back in.
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