FetLife Reviews 206

I loved fetlife found others like myself loved seeing other people work and play .. but have noticed there are way to many fake doms and narcassit no respect. Stupid unevoloved men who can't comprehend done modeling not worth it anymore.i do not recommend

Had an issue, and the situation was taken care of in less than an hour. The response time, and their decisive actions were more than impressive, in my situation.

It’s a amazing site where you can meet some amazing people, of course there are also all kind of people you don’t want to talk with but between all those you can find great and amazing people , I love the site and I recommend I am for years there and I have a nice experience with it

I'm amazed this site is still going.
It bills itself as "Facebook for kinksters" but it's a far cry from that.

There are certainly some pros but barely enough to outweigh the increasing negatives.

The good:
Basic features are free. You can join and create a fairly detailed profile. You can take part in group discussions, view member profiles, and chat to members without restriction.
There are "offsite" in person meets which are publicised through FetLife and this can be a good way to meet like-minded kinksters, assuming you're local to one and make the effort.
If all you want is a place to chat about kink it could be valuable to you. If you're willing to put the effort in, it can be a place to begin to meet people and explore your kinks.
BUT be warned - and heed the below notes before ever meeting someone IRL.

The bad:
1) It's a social platform, not a dating site. FetLife is often misunderstood as a dating or kink hookup website, but FL makes no bones about the fact that it is no such thing. It was designed as a social platform for Kinksters. Why is this bad? Because a dating site is clearly what a significant proportion of it's users are looking for, and it would take very little to make it an effective kink-dating site.

2) As a social media site it's pretty awful - almost entirely self-moderated by it's members, who can create groups about any topic they like without restriction. Unless you are interested in fairly mainstream topics you will find yourself in groups with very few active members, and only virtual tumbleweeds to keep you company.

3) Complete lack of user local/regional user base.
The vast majority of FetLife's members are in the USA, and membership is concentrated around the major population centres. For those in other countries, or not living in a major city, it's a veritable wasteland.

4) Fake profiles - despite it's claim to NOT be a dating site, it still attracts scammers, spammers, fakes and phonies just like any dating site. In my experience, the vast majority of profiles are fakes - whether scammers or just lonely people seeking validation. They will randomly message you expressing an interest in meeting/dating, string you along for days or even weeks, before ghosting you.

5) It's also a marketing site for sex workers / OnlyFans members. While it's not billed as a marketing tool for sex workers / OnlyFans members this is precisely what a majority of "real" female members are using it for.
While I don't object to sex workers (I've dated one and had a number of friends in different parts of the industry), I DO object to the kind of non-stop spam that I'm subjected to by these individuals phishing for subscribers.
FetLife needs to fix this before the site crumbles.

6) Complete lack of user verification. Verification is entirely optional on FetLife, and most users are unverified. While this allows for a degree of discretion, which might be a good thing, it also allows for all kinds of abuses - see point 4 above and then also below.

The ugly:
Once again, despite NOT acting as a dating site, it's absolutely used by kinksters to meet up. I've barely met a single genuine female on this site who has NOT been sexually assaulted by someone they met through FetLife. Limits/boundaries are pushed or not respected at all, and violent assaults take place. At least one reported abduction and murder was serviced directly through the site.
Given the lack of any user verification victims have no real come back. Further, FetLife moderators seem to do very little about reports of violence or sexual assault, and victims are either banned or at least shamed if they try to raise what has happened within a FetLife group discussion.
FetLife does very little to protect it's members and you take your own life into your hands if you use it to meet someone in real life that you found there.

In summary - while it was a good concept the complete lack of moderation / verification / protection of/for members makes it next to unusable. Genuine kinksters should be very cautious before using it to actually meet someone.

FetLife is a feature-rich social platform for Kinksters, but finding compatible partners depends on serendipity.

1) Free Basic Features: The platform offers free access to basic features, including viewing user profiles, photos, and joining various groups.
2) Regional Search Limitations: While it allows searching for Kinksters by region, there is no user filtering option, such as selecting only female users.
3) Paid Videos: Accessing videos requires paid support to sustain the website. This seems reasonable, as FetLife doesn't have ad revenue like Facebook.
4) A Social Platform, Not a Hookup Site: FetLife is often misunderstood as a dating or casual encounter website, but it serves as a social platform exclusively for Kinksters.
5) Detailed Profile Options: FetLife provides a comprehensive profile menu where users can express their interests, preferences, and roles clearly.
6) Unrestricted Messaging: Users can freely communicate with others through the platform's messaging system without any limitations.

Objective Clarifications for Common Misconceptions:

1) Presence of Various Users: If you encounter female users promoting their OnlyFans on FetLife, simply choose not to follow them. No one forces you to view their content.
2) Response Rates: Not every message you send will receive a response; it depends on the connection and compatibility between you and the other person.
3) User Behavior: Individuals' behavior on FetLife is unrelated to the platform itself. People of all types exist, and if you dislike their behavior, it is not fair to blame FetLife for it.
4) Account Verification: The platform requires selfie verification and document uploads, which are not as trivial as some may claim.
5) Comparison with Other Platforms: Many platforms related to Kink and BDSM have poor designs compared to FetLife. For example, ALT.com has a subpar interface.
6) For dating app purposes, it is recommended to use Feeld or Fet.

In summary, FetLife offers a comprehensive social platform for Kinksters, with free basic features and the ability to connect with like-minded individuals. It is crucial to understand and overcome common misconceptions while appreciating the platform's unique features and purpose.

Fetlife is crap. The women there waste your time. First the say that they will hook up with you. And you try to meet them of that website. And then they come up with some stupid excuses not to meet up with you. Most women on there use fetlife to boost their ego. And a lot of women there use it to promote their onlyfans crap. The ratio of men is higher there than women. And there is no option there to look for women or men only. Women there have some kind of mental issues on that website as well. That they don't know what they want. Or they string a guy a long. And later the guy wants to meet that woman. And she just ignores him or his messages etc. Fetlife should not be promoted as a hook up or meet up site. And there is no control there of who is a scammer or not. Fetlife has a lot of scammers as well.

1 star rating is too high for this crap pile of a website.

I joined sunday night, and didnt do much.

I joined a photography group, and I was banned from it because I told a guy to NOT purchase 30,000$ in new cameras, lenses, and lighting equipment. And to simply take photos of his cat or teddy bear in order to learn how to use his existing camera gear better.

I wrote a profile post on how laughable it was to be kicked out of a group for telling someone to save money, and apparently the group owner seems to be a member of the website management team, i know have to give them a copy of my state ID card in order to "verify who I am" in order to get into my account.

Problem is, "captaincrunchwasnothere" is my junk emal name, but not the name on my state ID.

awful site predominantly a heterosexual site i even think some of the gay profiles are fake just to encourage you pay for a membership !!!

I had 11 hours before deletion. On this account. I was going through a junk email account, and i came across an old old old email notice from fetlife. And well i was stupid and felt like seeing what was up on fetlife.

I made an account, using my same email. NO requirements for phone number verification. Just sent me a code in an email.

This time its funny, i was on the site for 11 hours todal until my account was locked/deleted. Why was it deleted?

Well, I left a comment on someones "journal entry" i saw on the politically popular front page. Two minutes later i got a reply from the author, and a random female member named oujiwytch left a message stating that
"I have reported this 11 hour old account for spam because i did not like a comment he made on a post here".

The comment i made was to simply hit the like button on a "journal entry" that was on my original, 2013 fetlife account. That I cannot get into because i dont have the original email anymore.

This site is full of narcissistic abusers. It should be closed down.

complete waste of time

I was BANNED from the site because i joined a photography group on it. Unfortunately this group was co owned/moderated by a person on the official roster of Fetlife "important people"
-site programmers -site moderator -general website staff

I disagreed with this person in a thread about "finding a professional photographer using photography websites like modelmayhem or model management. I merely pointed out you only need an instagram with 20 images of your breakfast on instagram to qualify as a "professional photographer in the photography industry".

For some reason, 5 hours later my account is LOCKED. And of course, the fetlife support email doesnt work for anyone, because when they lock your account they put you on a blocked email list.0514

as of 5-17-2024 I am still waiting for a reply to 2 seperate emails to fetlife customer support. They have no interest in helping me. Despite a "request" for my cell phone number to "verify" i was a fetlife customer through trust pilot review.

WIll not give them my cell number as a cell number is not required to create an account with them. Thus, why give them my cell phone when AFTER my account has been closed and deleted, when I NEVER gave my cell number to them when i HAD an account.

Disgusting. A breeding ground for pedos, abusers and sickos. Should be banned.

Trying to steak your money!!!

Without warning publicly put me in 'time out' for 3 days for a story I had posted to my journal / wall a year before. A paying member for awhile, was handled badly, like being scolded (or outed) when in elementary school. I emailed & nobody could be bothered to respond to me, further feeling ostracized & bullied I removed all journal entries & most pictures.

There are real people that exist on Fetlife! We have been successful on meeting some fantastic lovers! The Homophobia and or Transphobia can be quite annoying and hateful! Just wish they would just not be hateful!

Its really a negative 4 star review but trust pilot seems to like websites..

Been an off and on again member since 2011. Its always been "off" in the political spectrum. Last 4 years its become NOTHING except a ME TOO and BLM platform.

Have had 3 accounts in last month deleted simply for stating I am a white heterosexual male. Thats all i did, and the system auto deletes them within 8 hours of creation.

The membership is a joke, its just liberal political activists, its irritating as can be. And not being on it actually improves one sense of wellbeing.

The actual female members are basically prostitutes or promoting an only fans, and most require men to buy them things on amazon or to simply paypal them money in order to "earn a response" that will never come.

Fetlife staff run a user account called fet_exposed that they use to repost 35,000 photos and 2000 videoes they have stolen from member accounts.

Most people do not understand the payment system for Fetlife membership is a result of two things. The fetlife ownership trying to avoid paying income tax to the Canadian government. Having members send their payment to cyprus in the form of gift cards circumvents paying taxes, or having to report it as income.
The second is that a banking trail costs money and would force them to pay legal taxes. You have to rmember the companies current headquarters is a 1.5$CA mini mansion that was purchased with the money recieved when the owner Kopanis did a go fund me drive on the site to get money from members to "help with medical costs" for an imaginary daughter. Within a month of the help drive ending, he announced the purchase of the mini mansion.

Overall, Fetlife is a place that makes a Taliban training camp seem like a place of aceptance to different ideas and religions.

Before 2019 the website had a fairly healthy user base of men, women and anyone else in equal measure and of all ages and relationship statuses. People would be able to come across and interact with real humans who are seeking some kind of companionship or friendship. It was like a dating website, but without a hidden pay wall or awful social political (and general) design of OKC.

The Covid fiasco of 2020 no doubt harmed this website as a website based on meeting people (especially intimately) won't quite work in that situation. But the website is now quite dead and quite pointless. Most of the previous genuine users have left, all that remains are a recent overflow of fake accounts, desperate onlyfans women, women suffering narcissism/sociopathy (interchangeable with the onlyfans women), an equal ratio of fake doms or abusive men, and then a few 'lifers' - couples or webs of individuals already fulfilled in their current arrangement but still active in sharing their journeys.

Time to write this website off. It had a good run in the 2010s but it's done.

This site is full of fakes and guys pretending to be women. I was after a Mistress and they want you to pay a tribute.
Don't PAY a tribute it's crap and will cost you your hard earned.

Excellent online community to keep you in touch with local link events.
There are a lot of money-making influencer profiles, but you can avoid them and just use it to connect with local people if you prefer. Not sure why all the bad reviews…!