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I believe in something called Natural Law; I’ve been into it for over eight years. There aren’t a lot of people who believe in it (or even know about it). A friend invited me to an event two hours away from where we lived because there were going to be a larger number of Natural Law people there. This is where I met Marlay who hosted a meditation. Because he was at this event, I initially assumed that he believed in NL too. I asked him for how long he had been a believer and he responded that he did not believe in NL and that he has “a more intuitive understanding”* of spirituality. He invited me to a meditation he hosts regularly and asked me where I lived. I told him that I live far away and he said that was fine because he streams them over zoom too. He never gave me any further information nor a website. I gave him my contact info., believing that I had made a new friend and would have access to meet more potential friends. Three weeks after the initial meeting, Marlay texted me.
He asked me if I would be attending in person and I reminded him that I live far away. It felt like he asked me the exact same set of questions all over again, assumably forgetting our first encounter. When I entered the zoom meeting, this was the first time I was informed that Marlay was (1) selling a monthly subscription for (2) group life coaching. I felt misled. I realized he never intended on being my friend and that this was just a business transaction. However, I still wanted the meditations, so I signed up.
Marlay’s coaching method felt like a forced-conversion to his own, personal New Age belief system. Much of what he said went against my NL beliefs, but I focused on the parts that had value to me and let go of the rest. During our fourth session, Marlay, as usual, shared his personal New Age beliefs. When he was finished, he asked me what I thought about it. I answered honestly that I did not agree because my life experiences and NL beliefs have led me to different conclusions. He and his follower essentially told me that my life experiences were invalid and my beliefs are wrong. I disagreed again. I felt like they repeatedly tried to pound their New Age beliefs into me, along with invalidating my experiences and not even caring enough to listen. This caused me to lose my temper and I yelled at them that their beliefs were delusional. This angered the two who then took turns over the next twenty minutes berating me. At one point, Marlay told me that I am “a right fighter with deep seated anger issues and that I need his one-on-one coaching.”* All of this, because I have different spiritual beliefs (NL) and refused to be shaken from them. I also felt that Marlay had used my vulnerabilities and admitted flaws against me, which felt like a betrayal of trust and a boundary that was crossed.
At one point, Marlay told me that “we love you and we’re your family,” which to me, was grossly disingenuous. Firstly, this is only our fifth interaction together. You do not know me, therefore, you do not love me; and a general love for humanity does not count as genuine, deep, familial love for an individual. That comment felt like another boundary cross. Second, there is no evidence to back his claim of love. The only time Marlay ever contacted me was when he was drumming up busine$$ for himself. There was never any communication outside of a business transaction. That’s not love - that’s business. Moreover, the fact that he forgot nearly 100% of our first conversation is evidence in my mind that he never actually cared about me; I was just a mark. And ganging up on me for having different beliefs & life experiences most certainly was not convincing of his love either.
Out of the four sessions I had with him, I left two of them feeling disregulated for hours afterwards and was largely useless to the world. I frequently felt disregulated with his coaching sessions. I did not feel that he saw me as an equal. It felt like a commander/commandee relationship. I did not really feel that he ever actually cared about me nor tried to know me. His coaching is full of unsolicited, New Age advice & platitudes given by himself and his followers based upon a conclusion they come to after Marlay asks an invasive question and you deliver a 30sec., shallow answer. His judgments about you are based on a thirty second blurb.
I never knew what I was getting myself into and that’s my fault. I did not ask any questions, nor did he ever provide any information. I 100% never consented to converting to Marlay’s New Age religion. I never consented to having strangers tell me what my life story is nor what my religion needs to be.
If you are not a New Ager, this is not the coach for you.
(*paraphrased quote)